Maybe a New Melania Magazine Cover Will Give Trump What He’s Been Seeking
What would’ve happened if long ago, the president got the cultural accolades he’s always wanted?
Comedy
Donald Trump’s Guide to Museums
Why are museums filled with artifacts from the past? Why don’t they include things from the future?
Law and Order: Sandwich Crimes Unit
Serving justice to sandwich-wielding offenders takes expertise.
Yes, Stephen Miller Is Surrounded by Criminals
Lawlessness in D.C. is rampant, and we’ve found lots of criminals congregated in one place.
Extreme Home Makeover: White House Edition
This old, fly-infested building needs some work.
A Dispatch From the MAHA Future
Featuring wearables, roadkill, and lots of astrology
The National-Park Tours of Trump’s Dreams
The rule: Only mention the good parts of American history.
Trump Gets Rid of Those Pesky Statistics
The numbers were simply not patriotic enough.
Let’s Ban More Nonexistent Things
Some notes for the Clear Skies Act, which seeks to ban weather modification
How I Came to Be in the Epstein Files
A conspiracy wrapped in a conspiracy theory wrapped in an enigma