The Day of Small Kindnesses

— Perhaps I should not have reached my present views regarding a little matter of social ethics if I had attained the mental status enabling me to overlook the whole subject in the largest possible way. If my individual ambition were greater, my aims in life more distinct and unswerving, ray habits of industry more confirmed, why, then (so I am assured by impartial observers) I should not allow myself to frequently be so diverted by what appear to me precious opportunities to serve my friends in deferring to their pleasure and comfort in little things! “ Why do you go with A—when you do not care to go yourself? It is sheer idleness on your part to lend yourself to everybody’s whim, and fritter away your time, when you might better serve your friends by refusing to be interrupted, and by going steadily on about your own proper work.” My censor spoke with great earnestness. She may have been entirely right, yet it still seemed to me that I should prefer to be of service to my friends in numberless small, casual, but endearing instances, rather than in that remote altruism dependent upon the consummation of the lofty aims of the individual Ego. Moreover, I could but reflect that, had the very interruption so disapproved of by my censor come through herself, my thriftless compliance would have had a less culpable complexion.

It is common enough for people to express surprise that you should go out of your way to give others small pleasures, free oblations of invaluable minutes, patient ear to confidences not concerning yourself (and perhaps not vitally concerning those reposing them). At the same time, the objectors to such frivolous ministrations on your own part do not cease taking great pains to gratify their own desires in trifles. Their dinner (when and what), a comfortable bed, the choicest ingle-nook, a taste for sweets, a crotchet for some particular article of dress,—these are not matters of no consideration where they themselves are concerned. Now, I grant it may be somewhat senilely good - natured, even partly selfish, to potter about with a view to making people comfortable by gratifying their small wants and whims; but why, then, take so much anxious thought for one’s self in the same trivial matters ? To seek one’s own creature comfort cannot be a pursuit more worthy than to have regard for another’s. But grant that in either case the pursuit is ignoble, obliterating our view of spiritual issues : then it is high time that human nature should be disciplined to do without its childish indulgences; and discipline, like charity, is well begun at home. So why should I lose sight of spiritual issues (to say nothing of this world’s affairs of pith and moment) by disturbing myself to find the easiest of easy-chairs, or to open my mouth when the bonne bouche is about to be dropped, or otherwise to have so tender a forethought with regard to such unimportant small kindnesses towards myself ?