Civilization and Dogs

THE two most important members of a certain family during the last few weeks have been a learned gentleman, known as “ the Doctor,” and a beautiful, highly bred bullterrier pup. The owner of the pup, a young college man of twenty, feels keenly the responsibility of the little beast, and cherishes exalted ideals regarding its future. The youth has been attending a series of lectures which the Doctor has been delivering, and by a grotesque combination of the views thus obtained, with his own original ones, has arrived at conclusions which are new and somewhat startling.

The pup, which is called Tasso, has already developed a high degree of intelligence, though he is only five months old. He can when bidden say “ please,” with a gentle bark; can beg for food, shake hands, “ play dead,” and do several other easy tricks, while his young master is planning to teach him many more.

“ You see,” the youth remarked thoughtfully one day, “ it gives the pup so much joy to know a trick, that I feel as though I ought to be teaching him a lot while he is still in the dew of his youth and can learn.”

“ But you have to whip him a good deal in order to teach him, don’t you ? ” inquired the Doctor.

“ Oh, not so very much. Of course, I have to whip him more or less. The rod speaks the only language that the little brute really understands, — but probably he does n’t begin to suffer as much, take it all in all, as any one of us suffered in school in order to learn a proportionate amount. Besides, every trick he learns makes him more valuable, you know.”

“ Oh yes, I see. It is in the nature of a commercial investment.

A fine scorn overspread the features of the college boy upon hearing these words, but he spoke with admirable restraint, — easily accounted for by the time he finished his remark.

“ The commercial part of it is not so important, possibly, as the making of the dog more valuable to himself and to society.” (The austerity of the youth’s tone was partially neutralized by a mysterious twinkle which the Doctor began to discern in one corner of his left eye.) “ Oh yes, indeed,” he pursued ; “ what is this that we have been hearing so much about lately ? Let me see. Is n t it something like this ? ‘ The development of each individual into the most intelligent being that can be made out of the stuff should be the object of mankind.’ Does n’t that sound rather familiar ?

The Doctor laughed and colored a little, but he met his humorous assailant valiantly.

“ Oh, come now, I was n’t talking about dogs, was I? ”

“ Perhaps not; but why not? Is n’t the promotion of the happiness of the dog a humane and worthy object ?— to say nothing of the increased service to mankind of which, through training, he becomes capable. Just think how many more lives might be saved, fires reported, errands done, if only every dog were taught all that he could be! It undoubtedly does make highly trained dogs — yes, and horses and pigs and elephants, and all the rest — very happy to do their tricks, as a general thing. Then think of how much it increases the amount of knowledge in the world. I am sure that in that same lecture occurred something like this : ‘ To make each day the amount of information greater, to daily increase the power of everybody for usefulness, is a noble ambition, to which the finite powers of humanity may well be fervently devoted.”

The oratorical swing with which the youth delivered these somewhat worn sentiments was a trifle annoying. He flung forth his challenge with a certain facetiousness, and still with the air of one who presents an incontrovertible proposition. The Doctor fenced a little.

“ You would n’t soberly advance the theory that it is the duty of every owner of livestock to teach each and all of his cattle and horses all the tricks of which they may be capable ? ”

“ I! Oh, I did n’t originate any such theory,” laughed the youth, ignominiously retreating. “ I am only quoting what distinguished and profound lecturers say, and applying it. In order to be consistent, carpers and critics might insist that there ought to be public institutions established for teaching all sorts of animals as much as they could hold, as it were, — and I hope you are n’t going to crawl.”

The youth’s tone was interrogative, but the Doctor escaped the necessity of an answer, as Tasso at that moment mounted the veranda, carrying in his mouth, with an air of triumph, the whole of a fine fuchsia plant, in full flower, which he had just uprooted in the garden.

“ The moral culture of your dog is going to require more attention than the development of his alleged mind, I fear,” said the Doctor sarcastically. The mistress of the garden began a violent reinforcement of this view.

The youth admitted the cogency of the remark, and went forth to find his little dog-whip, but he paused a moment to murmur, in a solemn and declamatory tone, with a merry eye upon the Doctor, “ The fact remains that the White Man’s Burden is not only to enlighten the dusky denizens of distant continents and islands, but the dumb and four-footed also, — thus vastly increasing the sum of the world’s intelligence and happiness.”

The Doctor had by this time naturally become somewhat impatient with the childish arguments with which he had been confronted, and allowed himself to utter the innocent but expressive exclamation, “ Oh, shucks !”

“ But you can’t get around it,” persisted the boy. “ I don’t see why you should n’t have schools for dogs and their like. I don’t see why it is n’t a sacred duty, and all that ” —

The sympathy of the mistress of the manse was now thoroughly enlisted in behalf of the hard-beset Doctor, and she would wait for nothing more, but summarily banished the bull terrier, the fuchsia, and the youth, with his White Man’s Burden, into the garden, where the loud yelping of the poor little brute soon bore testimony that his moral regeneration was on the way.

But possibly there was something in the youth’s contention. It is left with the thoughtful and humane for further consideration.