The Man in the Aisle Seat

I’m always early, I’m never late.
I’m in my seat on the aisle by eight,
So that all of the people who arrive
At eight-oh-two or eight-oh-five
Or eight-fifteen will have to squeeze
And wriggle around my stubborn knees,
On which quite frequently I have put
My overcoat, while an outstretched foot
Is held in reserve, with mutters and grunts,
For dealing with any later dunce.

And if anyone in my row is seated
Ahead of me, he needn’t feel cheated:
In the ancient theatrical tradition,
I’ll fix him good at the intermission!