Volume 297 no. 3 / april 2006
Adams, John Quincy, foreign-policy demonology of, 98
Addington, David, Cheney aide, as imperial enabler, 26
Akhmatova, Anna, hardy muse of, 120
al-Harethi, Qaed Salim Sinan, al-Qaeda operative, disconnected phone of, 67
Allen, Dennis W., on James Bond anality, 100
al-Zarqawi, Abu Musab, as Elvis, 76; as master of disguise, 76
Andress, Ursula, resonant name of, 101
Austen, Jane, relative cruelty of, 118
Baez, Joan, as security risk, 69
Baryshnikov, Mikhail, football expertise of, 32
Ben-Ami, Shlomo, Middle East historian, acuity of, 99; “diplo-blah-blah” of, 99
Berlusconi, Silvio, as cruise director, 13; celibacy of, 13
Bernstein, Theodore, usage authority, on finer points of dangling, 137
Bierce, Ambrose, as combat veteran, 98; sardonic sensibility of, 98
Bin Laden, Osama, Nigerian liberation plan of, 33
Briggs, Anthony, Tolstoy translator, questionable necessity of, 115; as man of the people, 115; as slangslinger, 115–117; as pirate-movie impresario, 116
Buckley, William F., as traffic cop, 138
Bush, George W., near-dictatorial powers of, 25–26; Nigeria policy of, 33–34; perplexing stinginess of, 80; history’s verdict on, 80
Bush, Laura, sex life of, 16
Callow, Simon, kiltedness of, 126
Cameron, David, British opposition leader, as satire made flesh, 138
Carbona, Gene, former drug rep, near-criminality of, 83; as “King of Happy Hour,” 84
Carter, Jimmy, underwater maneuvers of, 68
Columbus, Christopher, savagery of, 138
Coward, Noël, as James Bond bit player, 100–102
Derrida, Jacques, as stumbling block, 71
Dowling, Levi H., doctor, as channeler of Christ, 117
Drucker, Peter F., as Newt syllabus entry, 37; on knowledge workers, 47–50
Eco, Umberto, as James Bond explicator, 104
Eden, Anthony, former British PM, temporary insanity of, 101
Einstein, Albert, as gypsy, 50; as bohemian, 50; as high-school dropout, 50
Elizabeth II, queen, delegating prowess of, 13; blurriness of, 13; as “pork butcher from Norwich,” 13
Fake, Caterina, Flickr foundr, airport ritual of, 135
Fleming, Ian, as Kennedy adviser, 101; as anti-Castro plotter, 101; as anti-baseball, 102; as antihot dog, 102; as anti-neon, 102; as anti-bosoms, 102; bottomless contradictions of, 102; as terrorism prophet, 102; Hollywood dreams of, 104
Fonda, Jane, as security risk, 69
Ford, Gerald, as master of suspense, 120
Franklin, Benjamin, enormous biography of, 120
Fulton, Kevin, former IRA operative, anxious retirement of, 53–62; concern of for “wee fish and creatures of the sea,” 60
Gaddis, William, potential irrelevance of, 114
Galbraith, John Kenneth, on aesthetics, 47
Garcia-Roza, Luiz Alfredo, Brazilian mystery novelist, sketchy plots of, 105
Gingrich, Newt, e-mail address of, 36; as counterfactual novelist, 36; as Amazon.com reviewer, 36; “Cheshire Cat coyness” of, 36; dataphilia of, 36–37; reading list of, 37; as Clinton womb-mate, 37; as Gore clone, 37; FDR and, 37; Ataturk and, 37; de Gaulle and, 37; Churchill and, 37; Reagan and, 37
Hadrian, emperor, as Home Depot founder, 124
Harris, Rolf, as Aussie TV personality, 13; as royal portraitist, 13
Hart, Gary, political twilight of, 36
Hatch, Orrin, as camera-phone user, 133
Hatch, Richard, survivor, as tax evader, 13; potential prison term of, 13
Hoover, J. Edgar, anti-Quaker vendetta of, 69
Huntington, Samuel, on institutional fortitude, 75
Indridason, Arnaldur, Icelandic mystery novelist, pardonable clichés of, 105
James, Henry, pet paradox of, 114
Jassim, Khamis Mohamed, Iraqi politician, Johnsonian wound-display policy of, 75
Jordan, Michael, as pharmaceutical sales rep, 82
Kafka, Franz, as sushi garnish, 108
Kennedy, John F., as James Bond fan, 101; juvenile taste of, 101
Keynes, John Maynard, as optimist, 46
Kirino, Natsuo, Japanese mystery novelist, as Zola successor, 108; black humor of, 108
Lamberth, Royce C., FISA judge, living-room hearings of, 65; cocker spaniel of, 65
Lantos, John, medical ethicist, on cobblerlessness, 93
Lee, Peggy, tremendous goodness of, 95; as Lady and the Tramp songwriter, 95; as Jewish basketball star, 95; as single mother, 95; as autobiographer, 95; as North Dakotan, 96; sexual style of, 96
Lewis, Jerry, as stumbling block, 71
Lewis, Michael, as Newt syllabus entry, 37
Lincoln, Abraham, dictatorial powers of, 25; gaseous quasi-mysticism of, 97
Lloyd, Henry Demarest, as Rockefeller nemesis, 44–46
Loman, Willy, pharmaceutical portfolio of, 83
Lovecraft, H. P., encyclopedic creepiness of, 117
Lucas, George, chicken dinner of, 132
Magdalene, Mary, ubiquity of, 117
McBain, Ed, immortality of, 105–106
McEwan, Ian, on magical irrealism, 105
Mitchell, George, political twilight of, 36
Moron, Jack, hard-hitting columnist, as Michael Wharton creation, 138
Nabokov, Vladimir, as Tolstoy fan, 118
Niven, David, as noncanonical Bond, 100
Nixon, Richard, as surveillance target, 69
Oates, Joyce Carol, sinister intimations of, 110
Obasanjo, Olusegun, Nigerian president, democratic reputation of, 33; popular mandate of, 33; wholesale failure of, 33–34
Oldani, Michael, former pharmaceutical sales rep, as diner veteran, 88; as cognac disburser, 90
O’Reilly, Bill, as test of will, 32
Pataki, George, tepid presidential prospects of, 37
Petty, Richard, political career of, 32
Pinter, Harold, historical sensitivities of, 138
Pynchon, Thomas, potential irrelevance of, 114
Reagan, Ronald, political patience of, 37
Reese, Frank, poultry farmer, on robustness of heirloom chickens, 129; as nurse anesthetist, 129
Reidy, Jamie, former drug rep, on pigeon-like pharmacist behavior, 88
Robertson, Pat, spiritual debasement of, 101
Roosevelt, Franklin D., imperial tendencies of, 25; Newt Gingrich and, 37
Rumsfeld, Donald, camera-phone ban of, 135
Sailhac, Alain, chef, on heirloom- turkey miracle, 128
Scappaticci, Freddie, IRA exploits of, 53–62
Scott, Sir Walter, preposterous home of, 126
Sherman, William Tecumseh, cruelty of, 98; as memoirist, 98
Simple, Peter, as Michael Wharton mouthpiece, 138–139; last words of, 138
Spector, Phil, itchy trigger finger of, 13
Spock, Benjamin, as security risk, 69
Springer, Jerry, spiritual debasement of, 101
Stewart, Martha, as chicken booster, 127
Swann, Lynn, as GOP MVP, 32; Baryshnikovian qualities of, 32; apparent youth of, 32; as official fitness adviser, 32
Tamerlane, as head contractor, 120
Thatcher, Margaret, intelligence intake of, 56
Tolstoy, Leo, translation-proof qualities of, 117; jagged fairy tales of, 118; ultimate humanity of, 118
Truman, Harry, as steel hoarder, 26; as NSA innovator, 69
Updike, John, as Tom Wolfe nemesis, 109–110, 113–114
Van Gogh, Vincent, as plot device, 121
Watts, J. C., as GOP MVP, 32
Wernicke, Carl, famed area of, 114
Wharton, Michael, British columnist, as exile, 139; laconic nature of, 139; Serbs and, 139; white Rhodesians and, 139; open marriage of, 139
Wilson, Woodrow, as “leader of the North American rebel colonists,” 139
Wodehouse, P. G., Long Island lair of, 138
Wolfe, Tom, as Updike nemesis, 109–110, 113–114; Cartesian echoes of, 110; as brawler, 113–114
Wonder, Stevie, as alleged Phil Spector target, 13
Yoo, John, as imperial enabler, 26
Zola, Emile, would-be successors of, 108, 112, 113