Reichsurreys

I have often been tempted to stick out a tail fin and trip one of the pesky little foreign imports as it zipped around my 250 horses in an intimidating manner. Still, I am forced to admit that my observation of Reichsurreys has disclosed that they do possess certain other undeniable advantages:

When their batteries are dead they are much easier to push from your garage out to the street.

They increase the numerical capacity of ferryboats.

They are very economical for long trips if you have a wife who insists upon flying. You can take along her excess baggage in the Reichsurrey.

They are much more effective than elevator shoes for making short men appear taller. Napoleon would have seemed much more masterful climbing into a Reichsurrey than into a king-size carriage drawn by six white horses.

You can drive twice as far searching for a parking place on the same amount of gasoline.

If you happen to be struck by a giant trailer truck there is never the problem of large repair bills to consider.

You can, by sneaking around large cars at intersections, have great sport startling small pedestrians.

You can keep a Reichsurrey parked in front of your home with pride, certain of the fact that no one in the block can possess a plainer piece of transportation than yours, and even the Joneses — while they may equal you — can never surpass you on that score, though they buy a new model every year.

A Reichsurrey is very unlikely to have a head-on collision while zooming around a 300-horsepower car climbing a steep hill. (However, I may have a head-on collision while zooming around a Reichsurrey on a steep hill. I love to do it — it frustrates them so.)

Reichsurreys use only half as much water each time you wash them.

In case of a bridge collapse, a Reichsurrey will sink slower than a heavier car.

It is much more fun to watch willowy blondes try to get out of a Reichsurrey in a dignified manner — although you may have a bit more trouble persuading them to climb in in the first place.

You can create much more effective traffic jams by squeezing your darling little darter into very small spaces at busy intersections.

It is far easier for your wife to make a burly motorcycle cop feel like a bully when she is behind the wheel of a Reichsurrey.

Reichsurreys are much more efficient than large station wagons for not being asked to transport fifteen Boy Scouts to the country.

It is such fun to look down your nose at admiring friends while peering up at them from your Reichsurrey to say, “Oh, you couldn’t get one. There’s a long waiting list.”