Egg Throwing
B. F. SYLVESTER lives in Omaha,where he was for many years the city editor of the WORLD HERALD. He has written on a variety of subjects for the ATLANTIC.
There was a news dispatch some time ago to the effect that Prince Philip of England was unperturbed when Buenos Aires teen-agers spattered him with eggs. He asked that they be told not to do it again, as he did not have an unlimited number of suits.
A small item, this, but it invited rumination. Do we not see here a portentous trend in the old exercise of throwing things at the stage villain? The locale is changing from the Bijou to world capitals, the new villain is the high politico on the goodwill circuit, the egg is replacing the tomato, and the throwers are children.
What happened to the tomato? The main factors are not far to seek. 1) On the average, this fruit, vegetable, berry, but not girl, weighs five ounces and has a circumference of nine and a half inches, making it Loo bulky for little hands and presenting problems of supply. 2) A missile of short range, it is unsuited to the outdoor demonstration of today. 3) It is seasonal, costing up to fifteen cents, which means a sizable bite out of Buster’s allowance.
On the other hand, or in the same hand, the egg, double-A large, for those who care enough to send the very best, weighs three ounces and fits comfortably in a subteen palm and sells for five cents. Dirties and checks, for pelting lesser dignitaries,
My conclusions, then, are these;
1. Hardly anyone is watching television.
2. Most of the few who are are asleep.
3. Those who are awake do not know what they are watching.
4. Those who know what they are watching do not know who is sponsoring the show unless it is really terrible. Then they know and never forget.
I believe I’ve done my part. It is up to the industry to do the rest.
are available for two and a half cents, while smalls, for practice, can be had at the farm for seven cents a dozen.
The egg is a natural projectile at both ends and thus is far superior in range and accuracy. It has another advantage: the fallout is more devastating than the impact. It lends itself to scientific refinement, and we can look forward to a still better throwing egg. Even the best we have today could stand a little flattening in the middle, as was done with the football, which once looked like an egg but now looks like a Vienna roll and is easier to throw.
Another question arises. What was protocol at Buenos Aires? Would it have been permissible for Philip to duck? Hardly. British royalty is schooled from childhood in old codes of official behavior which new times do not change. We can see a little prince now, the target of his mates at egg-receiving drill. Unperturbed, he stands his ground and meets the egg head on as the fellows gather around and murmur, “Well met!”
In Philip’s case, we dissent. Though consort of Queen Elizabeth II, he should have some lingering rights to be himself. We say, give him a basket of dirties and checks and let him fling right back.
