Yet Another True Study of Mankind
In Meeteese, Wyo., researchers studying the world’s only known colony of black-footed ferrets will do a study to find out if current studies are disturbing the species. —USA Today
“Do you think we’re disturbing these ferrets?”
“Mmm, it’s a question that merits
A study. Let’s get it funded.”
A study. Let’s get it funded.”
“But what if it undid
All we have learned up to now?”
All we have learned up to now?”
“I don’t see how.
I mean they look all right to me.
How undisturbed can a ferret be?”
I mean they look all right to me.
How undisturbed can a ferret be?”
“But what if we came to determine—
There, look at that one.”
There, look at that one.”
“That one’s an ermine.”
“Oh. But what if we ferreted out
A factor that made us doubt
That ferrets while we are seeing them
Are ever ferrets being them-
Selves?”
A factor that made us doubt
That ferrets while we are seeing them
Are ever ferrets being them-
Selves?”
“Oh, we know about that.”
“We do,
Do we? And they do too?”
“Who?”
“The ferrets. The ferrets.
Sometimes, with you, I swear, it’s—”
Sometimes, with you, I swear, it’s—”
“No, ferrets who knew what
We know would not
Be ferrets, as we know them.”
We know would not
Be ferrets, as we know them.”
“Why don’t we put them in cages and grow them?
“Wouldn’t be the same.”
“Well, neither is this.”
“Exactly our hypothesis.
We’ll draft an act of science,
Demonstrate ferrets’ compliance,
And name it after us:
The Mirabeau-Lapidus—”
We’ll draft an act of science,
Demonstrate ferrets’ compliance,
And name it after us:
The Mirabeau-Lapidus—”
“Or Lapidus-Mirabeau.”
“No,
The last one was Lapidus-Mirabeau.”
The last one was Lapidus-Mirabeau.”
“Which one?”
“The one this next one refutes.” “What? W he last one was newts.”
“’The Mirabeau-Lapidus Rule of Vexation.”
“All right, you fill out the application.”
“Don’t be a child.”
“You arc driving me wild.”